Pray with us!

Original Romanian article: here  Familia Bodnariu: Va rugam sa postiti si sa va rugati impreuna cu noi —

Please, pray and fast with us, for a dear family, who will go through a 4-day trial these days, fighting to regain their four children. It is almost one year since their children have been taken from them by Norway’s Barnevernet. May God soften the stubborn hearts, may He distroy this system, or whatever is necessary to bring these children back in their families, these four and all the other thousands which were carried off their families without a sound reason.
So far, they’ve lost all they could loose, but not their hope and trust in Jesus Christ! We believe that God can turn about any situation and do them justice, for His Name’s sake.

The Bodnariu Family


The NOT-Newly Bereaved

Un articol – o lectie cat pentru o viata.

One article. A lesson for a lifetime.

Original source here:


Earlier this evening, a gal asked some questions for a group discussion she will be taking part of this week. It stopped me in my tracks momentarily because, quite honestly, I’ve never been asked such questions. Those of us that have traveled this journey for some years are ‘expected’ to have ‘gotten over it’ by now. In the world of psychology, if your grief has continued on past one or two years, they consider it ‘compounded’ or ‘dysfunctional’ grief. They speak of things in which they have no true knowledge.

Nope. It’s plain and simple grief…and all grief is complicated.

We do move forward on this journey and it does change over time, as most things do. However, IT STILL HURTS! No one outside of grief groups asks me about my son. Or, if it’s the first time they learn that I have a son that died, they ask how long ago. Once I inform them that it was eighteen years ago, they immediately ‘move on’ in the conversation sort of with the unspoken words of: ‘Oh, well if it was that long ago it’s not important’.

Nope. It’s still important to me.

The same gal asked: “What do people need to know in order to help/support the NOT-newly bereaved?” At first, my mind went completely blank. I was taken back by the question because I don’t recall ever being asked this before, at least not in this manner. What do I need in the form of help/support? I honestly didn’t know how to respond. When my brain began to slowly kick back into gear, I told her this:

“I’ve been on this road 18+ yrs., longer if you include my 4 pregnancy losses, the 1st 48 yrs. ago. I want folks to know I STILL HURT!!! I still miss my babies…all of them…who they may have been, could have been. I’m older, getting closer to seeing them soon. But I have noticed something new taking place. The ‘missing’ of them is being replaced with an intense ‘longing’ for them the closer I get to seeing them again. The feeling is similar, but different. IDK that one is worse than the other..but different.”

She then proceeded to ask three more questions: “If you were to have the chance to “teach” someone how to support you, what would you say?
Would you want them to ask you occasionally how you’re doing in regards to missing your loved ones?
Or would you want them to notice when you are mentioning them, and be intentional to ask questions and let you talk/share about them?

To which I responded:

Hmmm..lots to answer here…1- I would want them to validate my grief…not minimize, not ‘diss’, not making me feel as if I ‘SHOULD’ be feeling other than I do. Simply ‘accept’ what is and be a friend. 2- Yes, I would love for someone to ask…to know that they care…to know that they acknowledge the existence of my children. 3- Yes.

Those of us who are ‘not-newly bereaved’ get lost in the weeds. We have lived with the heartache daily for so long that we become ‘accustomed’ to it in variant degrees. However, we never forget. Not a day goes by when I don’t think of my son. I still have pictures of him hanging on the wall as I do of all my children. He is still my son. He still exists. His time in this world still matters. His life still affects every member of my immediate family. He’s still my other children’s brother. His legacy lives on. I still can picture him smiling in a multitude of settings. I have no desire to have those memories erased or rearranged by some EMDR Therapy or any other. I neither want nor seek a ‘cure’. I love my son. Why would I want to forget him or permit some hocus-pocus to rearrange the way I remember him? Often, with great Love comes great sorrow. I don’t want to pop a pill so that I can’t ‘feel’. I prefer to embrace the pain.

I will add what I have often told others who are newly-bereaved and fear that they will never be able to come up for air. The moments of excruciating pain occur less often over time; the duration of those moments shortens; however, the intensity of the pain remains constant. So, overall, it does get easier. We eventually do laugh again, though we are often hit with some unfounded guilt when we first do. We do move forward with our lives and learn to ‘function’ again and be productive. We go on to build new relationships even though we may have to establish some boundaries in which we ‘pull the weeds to make room for the beautiful flowers’. We don’t leave our deceased children behind; we carry them forward with us. Some may have hardened their hearts with bitterness to block the pain, but those who have made such choices will hit a brick wall at some point and will have to eventually embrace the pain. Escapism which can take many forms on the spectrum from the negatives of sex, drink, drugs, etc., are a downward spiral. In the positive form of working longer hours or becoming enmeshed in ‘good works’ are obviously healthier choices, but can still be escapism. One way or another, we have to walk through this grieving process tunnel. As my readers know well, I have found my only Hope in Jesus the Christ, the Resurrected One. Because of Him, I know I will see my children again. Without that Hope, I would not still be here.

My heart, and I believe the hearts of most that are ‘not-newly bereaved’, often break for those who are just beginning this journey. We have traveled the many twists and turns, peeling through the multiple layers of the onion skins, and do know some of the pitfalls. There are days I simply cannot read the great sorrow of the newbies. It opens up Pandora’s Box for me and there are simply times I lack the strength to go there. It’s not that I don’t care, quite the contrary. I care too much. I know there’s no ‘fixes’. All I have to offer is the Hope and comfort I have been given and what has brought me peace. I can help you carry your burden momentarily, but I can’t carry it for you. No one can but God. He’s the only One Who truly understands grief and also has the strength to carry it.

So, for us ‘NOT-newly Bereaved’, we simply request acknowledgement. We still fight battles, perhaps lost a few along the way, but we have won the war. We’re still here; we have survived.

…And you shall, too.

(((HUGS)))  Jude Gibbs, Author of ‘Gifts from the Ashes’ available at: Xulon PressAmazonBarnes & Noble and DeeperShoppingAdditional international retailers:,jude-gibbs-9781498496728   Also, a Contributor on ‘The Mighty’: Also, see a more complete list at: Please help spread the Word. TY! (((HUGS)))


Comunicat: Familia BODNARIU – 26 Decembrie 2015

Unbelievable Norway

original article – here

In urma unor articole aparute in presa internationala cu privire la cazul familiei Marius si Ruth Bodnariu in care anumite evenimente, informatii sunt gresit intelese sau nedocumentate temeinic, dorim sa aducem o serie de clarificari pentru ca viitoarele articole, emisiuni sa aiba ca punct de pornire informatii concrete si asumate.

  • Scopul protestelor din Romania, Europa, USA
1. Impotriva abuzurilor Barnevernet
Marius si Ruth Bodnariu (“Parinti”) sunt o familie mixta romano-norvegiana ce locuieste in Norvegia de 10 ani. Familia are 5 copii: Eliana (9 ani), Naomi (7 ani), Matei (5 ani), Ioan (2 ani) si Ezekiel (4 luni) (“Copii”) – copiii familiei sunt in acelasi timp si cetateni romani. Marius este lincentiat in Ingineria Sistemelor si Informatica Aplicata la Universitatea Politehnica Bucuresti, angajat al primariei Redal, Naustdal, iar Ruth este asistenta medicala de specialitate pediatrica la spitalul din orasul Forde.
In data de 16 Noiembrie 2015, statul norvegian, prin institutia de protectie a copilului, Barnevernet, le-a confiscat copiii si i-a dat in plasament in trei familii diferite, fara o ancheta sociala prealabila si fara o ancheta psihosociala si emotionala a copiilor. Procedura de confiscare a copiilor familiei a fost declansata in urma unui denunt telefonic a directoarei (“Directoare”) scolii din orasul Vevring, unde fetitele Eliana si Naomi sunt eleve. In denunt, directoarea scolii isi exprima ingrijoararea privind educatia religioasa pe care fetitele o primesc acasa, faptul ca ar putea fi disciplinate, mentionand ca parintii si bunica sunt crestini radicali si ca acest fapt ar crea un handicap copiilor. In acelasi denunt, directoarea scolii mentioneaza inteligenta si creativitatea celor doua fetite, evidentiind faptul ca nu considera ca ele sunt abuzate fizic sau psihic, solicitand doar indrumarea protectiei copilului. Directoarea scolii, cu ceva timp in urma, a fost foarte categorica in a interzice uneia dintre fete sa mai cante, dupa ce fetita a cantat un cantecel crestin colegilor.In urma acestui denunt, Barnevernet face sesizare pentru deschiderea unui caz de violenta in familie si fara a notifica familia in prealabil, in data de 16 Noiembrie, Barnevernet Naustdal, a mers la scoala si le-a luat in custodie pe cele doua fete, dupa care impreuna cu politia a mers acasa la familia Marius si Ruth Bodnariu, de unde a luat in custodie si pe cei doi baieti, Matei si Ioan. Mama a fost arestata si dusa la sediul politiei locale, aceasi procedura de arestare aplicandu-se si tatalui, care era la serviciu. Dupa cateva ore de interogatoriu, fara ca Marius sa fie asistat de un avocat si fara prezenta unui translator, Marius si Ruth Bodnariu au fost eliberati impreuna cu bebelusul de 3 luni, nefiind considerati periculosi si li s-a comunicat faptul ca in urmatoarea zi li se va explica despre ce este vorba.In mod ilegal, autoritatile au procedat la arestarea celor doi fara a le prezenta invinuirile, impreuna cu dovezile care au condus la aces gest extrem, acela de arestare a unei persoane. Pentru determinarea parintilor de a sta linistiti si a nu apela la serviciile unui avocat, cei doi au fost asigurati ca situatia se va rezolva in mod pozitiv.In 17 Noiembrie, contrar declaratiilor optimiste din ziua precedenta, Barnevernet ia in custodie, insotiti de politie, si pe bebelusul Ezekiel. In urma deciziei unei comisii locale de audiere, parintii sunt acuzati de abuz fizic asupra copiilor, fara a exista dovezi in acest sens, fapt ce conduce la investigatii medicale complexe asupra copiilor, ulterior raportul medical mentionand faptul ca nu exista semne de abuz fizic sau psihic in ce-i priveste pe copii. Totusi, doar in baza declaratiilor, pe care Barnevernet pretinde ca au fost date de copii (chiar si aceste declaratii unele dintre ele se contrazic), comisia stabileste ca(1) bebelusul poate fi vazut doar de doua ori pe saptamana, cate doua ore de mama si tata, (2) ca cei doi baieti pot fi vazuti doar de mama o data pe saptamana, (3) iar ca cele doua fete mari nu pot fi vazute deloc de catre parinti si nu au mai fost vazute din data de 16 noiembrie. Nu se cunoaste daca declaratiile copiilor au fost luate in prezenta unui psiholog si nici modul in care au fost luate acele declaratii, in prima faza nefiind prezent si un reprezentant/avocat al parintilor pentru confirmarea respectarii procedurii de audiere a minorilor, procedura care trebuie sa se efectueze fara a se crea vreun traumatism psihoemotional minorilor.Pana la acea data, Marius si Ruth Bodnariu nu au primit niciun avertisment din partea autoritatilor in care sa fie atentionati de deficiente in cresterea si educarea propriilor copii. Nu s-a efectuat nicio ancheta sociala si nicio evaluare a impactului despartirii copiilor de parinti, precum si impactul despartirii fratilor, prin aceasta incalcandu-se interesul superior al copilului.

La acest moment, copiii sunt tinuti nejustificat in trei familii surogat, in doua orase diferite la distante de 3,5 ore de casa parinteasca. Copiii spun ca le este dor sa-si vada parintii si sa se intoarca acasa, dar Barnevernet neaga acet lucru. Paradoxal, in data de 15 Decembrie 2015, in urma unei intalniri cu Barnevernet, parintilor li s-a comunicat ca autoritarea de protectie a copilului vrea sa ii cunoasca mai bine si sa-i evalueaze abia in luna Februarie 2016, dar ca in acelasi timp demareaza procedura de adoptie pentru toti cei 5 copii ai familiei.

Pana la aceasta ora nu sunt clare si explicabile cateva aspecte privind toata procedura de confiscare a celor 5 copii si dorim sa atragem atentia asupra lor:

– incalcarea Conventiei cu privire la Drepturile Copilului, adoptata de Adunarea Generala a Organizatiei Natiunilor Unite la 20.11.1989, in special art.5, 8, 9, 14, 18, art.20 alin,3, si art. 30
– forta extrema si abuziva a Barnevernet
– lipsa unei anchete sociale prealabile
– lipsa unei evaluari a impactului separarii copiilor de parinti si a separarii fratilor prin plasarea in trei familii diferite
– lipsa de transparenta
– interogatoriu fara translator si fara avocat, incalcandu-se astfel dreptul la aparare
– constrangerea de a nu contacta ambasada
– lipsa unor evidente de abuz fizic sau psihic
– intarzierea intocmirii documentatiei in limba romana, asa cum prevede legea
– mama nu-si poate alapta bebelusul de 4 luni decat de doua ori pe saptamana
– presiuni asupra mamei (Ruth) sa declare in mod mincinos ca tatal (Marius) este abuziv cu ea si ca astfel isi va primi copiii
– amenintari la adresa lui Marius sa nu faca public cazul, riscand sa nu-si mai vada copiii niciodata, amenintari care, venind din partea unor reprezentanti ai institutiei, reprezinta o infractiune evidenta de santaj si amenintare
– plasarea copiilor in orase diferite la distanta de 3,5 ore de casa, inclusiv a bebelusului de trei luni care trebuie alaptat, desi avocatul a gasit o locatie in apropierea casei parintesti
– manipularea copiilor prin intrebari directionate, pentru a da declaratii prin care parintii sa fie incriminati
Astfel de metode si atitudini, care noua ca romani, ne aduc aminte de totalitarismul comunist, ne determina sa acuzam Barnevernet, implicit statul norvegian de complicitate, de incalcarea flagranta a drepturilor familiei si a drepturilor omului, de amenintari si intimidari asupra familiei, asupra avocatilor care se implica in aceste cazuri (unii dintre ei pierzandu-si licenta), de tentative de musamalizare si ingradirea libertatii de exprimare religioasa.
2. In semn de solidaritate cu Marius si Ruth Bodnariu

Denuntam actiunile abuzive, irationale si inumane fata de o familie normala, responabila, care a asigurat un mediu propice cresterii celor 5 copii. Marius si Ruth sunt integrati social, aducand un plus comunitatii din care fac parte, prin natura profesiei lor, fara sa fi initiat sau produs vreodata actiuni ce contravin moralitatii si legii.

3. In semn de solidaritate cu familiile care au aceasi experienta
Familii din Lituania, Polonia, Slovenia, Turcia, Brazilia, India, Rusia, Cehia.
  • Prezentare documente
Datorita regimului confidential stabilit de catre legislatia norvegiana, familiei Marius si Ruth Bodnariu nu ii este permis sa faca publice documente oficiale sau transcrieri.

marius-si-ruth-bodnariu2In urma unor articole aparute in presa internationala cu privire la cazul familiei Marius si Ruth Bodnariu in care anumite evenimente, informatii sunt gresit intelese sau nedocumentate temeinic, dorim sa aducem o serie de clarificari pentru ca viitoarele articole, emisiuni sa aiba ca punct de pornire informatii concrete si asumate.

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